 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
If you are struggling with and want to get out of your infidelity or impurity, here are some guidelines for you that will put you on the road to restoration.and a renewed walk with the Lord.
Confess your sins. Get your secret out. It is so not worth it. The secret you are carrying will grow and fester. It will poison the other areas of your life. Public confession, though it will be the hardest thing you will ever have to do, is the beginning of true healing.When sins are confessed, and all the secrets are on the table, Satan becomes powerless. Pour yourself out to a trusted friend and if you are in ministry, make arrangements to confess to those in authority of your ministry. Yes, you will lose your position, but when the church does what it is supposed to do, restoration will open new windows for greater ministry in the future. God is not concerned about your position. He is concerned about your heart. He will sacrifice your position for a repaired heart. God will never turn away a repentant heart.
Grieve Your Loss. Poor decisions have been made. You may be facing the loss of a spouse, loss of income, loss of status, loss of a home, etc. Be broken! Being broken before the cross of Christ is a great place to be. Tell him where it hurts, how it hurts, cry before Him, just let yourself go. You need to accept the loss. You cannot do anything about it now. The only way you are able to move ahead is to accept the loss, allow God to truly heal you, and move on with the grace that only He has to offer. But the key here is to allow yourself to be broken. There is no more room for pride anymore. Just let it go and allow the God of comfort to take over.
Submit to Church Authority. If your desire is to restore your heart with the Lord and your loved ones, humble yourself to any authority that is in your life. This is a time to die to yourself. Your actions have caused great harm to you, your loved ones, and the church body that you may belong to. For a period of time, you need to give up all thought of self and die to yourself. This puts you in a position to allow the Lord to take over and resume control in your life. If the Lord is not in your life, give Him your heart as well and you will see Him give you a life that you have always dreamed about. The Lord will guide and direct your steps and truly heal that which was broken.God will use your humility to regain the trust of people in your life and God will raise you up in the end.
Professional Counseling. Counseling does help. It teaches you how to deal with the hurt and the shame that attaches itself with infidelity. It helps bring up all the junk and the dysfunction of your inner being and prepares you to deal with these deficiencies and bring true healing to your life. Dealing with the hurt the right way is the only way to allow you to move on and leave this pain behind you. To move on in your relationship without counseling would be nearly impossible. If your spouse is willing to work on your marriage or relationship, then we strongly recommend that you seek professional counseling. Even if your spouse is unwilling, seek help professionally yourself. This may eventually show your spouse that you are serious in working at your relationship and that you are serious about your healing. It truly is worth the time and cost you invest into your relationship. A list of professional counselors is available here if you need help finding one.
Seek a Mentor Couple. If your spouse is willing to meet with you, seek a couple to meet with on a regular basis. This couple will provide wonderful support in a casual setting. Have dinner with them once a week or twice a month. A mentor couple will help provide support through the tough times and reinforce what you are doing right in your restoration with your spouse. This mentor couple can also act as a liaison between you and the church to communicate with them the steps of your success and the ways in which you are growing. They can also speak on your behalf if the church is not meeting your needs in the restoration process.
Find Others Who Have Traveled Down This Road. There are others who have been down the road you are on. They have successfully allowed God to turn their failures into His success stories. Meeting with these people provides a support and encouragement from regular people who have succeeded in dealing with this. It will allow you to see how great our God is and that He is not done with you and wants to use you in ways you never knew possible.
Contact Your Church Regularly. Find a person on the staff of your church (one may be appointed for you) and deem him the point person in charge of your restoration. Contact him (or her) and give him updates of your progress. If they are doing their job correctly, they will be contacting you regularly and they will be showing personal interest in your restoration. They should be updating your restoration process and encouraging you regularly throughout it.
